Last Sunday as I was sitting in church our pastor was preaching on the subject of giving… As I sat their I truly thought, “What more do I have to give? You have our son, my future, my dreams, my memories I wanted to make, what more God do I have to give?”. I know what your thinking- “I can’t believe she talks to God like that..” I’m not being rude to God. He has big shoulders he can handle that. If he couldn’t he would have told us to cast our burdens upon him, now would he?
Many times we think God can’t handle our thoughts and problems, so we water down our prayers and say what we think God wants to hear… First off he wants the truth. True feelings. I have yelled at God, been angry with him, cried to him in deep sorrow, gave thanks and joy to him, and I have questioned him. I have learned that in life we truly need to tell God how we feel like we would a friend because he wants that close relationship with him. I know it seems disrespectful, and I’m not saying disrespect God. I’m saying talk to him like normal don’t sugar coat it.
So back to my question to God,(sorry I got sidetracked), “What more do I have to give.” In an instant he answered me…
“…I know you feel betrayed, your hurting; I understand. I gave (lost) a son too…”
Take that in for a moment….
During this time we focus on gifts to give, what others think, am I giving enough? Happy Birthday Jesus and Christmas with the families… but what if we truly just sat here and took the time to think about what God actually gave…
As parents on earth or of an angel, you’d give anything for your child not to hurt, not to want, not to do without. I know when Rhett was being airlifted Shawn & I both pleaded to take his place so he wouldn’t have to hurt or fight- we wanted to fight that battle because we LOVE him so much… When you consider the Love we have for our children, times that by a million or so and you may come close to the live that God had for his own son & for us. What did God give? Can he really relate to us? Our pains? Our losses? …. yes… That’s why it’s so important to rely on him.
As I sat there thinking about what God gave , I found myself repeating John 3:16. The more I repeated the more I came to finally understand it… How sad that it was my first verse to learn and it has taken 25 years to truly understand.
“For God so LOVED the world, that he GAVE his ONLY SON, that whosoever calls upon him would NOT perish but have EVERLASTING life.”
God,(Jesus’s father/our father), loves this world he made. Loved it with everything he possibly could and for God that’s a lot. And because he loves us so much, He gave up his only son…. That’s the part that gets me… I have lost a son. The pain that comes with that is unbearable. I didn’t think it was possible to feel your heart break in half, but I have felt mine break into millions of pieces. Knowing what I know now, I feel Gods pain & that’s how I know he feels mine.
He Gave us his son… He knew his plan for his life. He knew he was being born this season to died later on. And he done this out of Love. So when we call on him for forgiveness, when we are in pain, when we are scared, when we thank him, when we just want to talk- he could be their. He done this so we could live forever with him like his son is now, like my son is now….
So as I sat their , listening about giving, instead of throwing myself a pity party, and saying I can’t give anymore, look what you took, look what I can’t do and give anymore because I’m fresh out- God showed me that Love is all you have to give.
And the easy thing about love is it’s free. It’s not always easy to give though… It’s the most free gift, yet hardest give to part with. When you give Love-your not guaranteed love back. Love can be a smile, a text, hugs, food given, cards, anything. Take the time to love someone this holiday season.
God gave us his son, because of Love. And I learned from my son that love lives on forever. Love is powerful. Maybe your going through a loss, illness, etc and you are asking God – “What more Can I give you.” Don’t give him anything but Love. That’s all God wants from us. Love him like you would your Mom or Dad. That’s what parents truly want from their children. We are Gods children. Have you loved him lately? Talked to him? Remember he doesn’t need protecting- God holds the world in his hand- he can hold you. He’s strong enough for that. Don’t hold back. Cast your cares, hurts, questions upon him, allow God to love you.
This season the greatest gift is Love. Share a little…
Merry Christmas & God bless!