Have you ever heard the term, “Unlocking your full potential.” ? I have often seen it written on posters in school hallways, signs by college enrollment offices, and of course through the occasional Facebook scroll. I never thought that quote or saying fit me very well. Not until I was handed a key that started unlocking doors to my potential.
It sounds cliché when you talk about how God places people in your path durning certain seasons of your life. However; it’s very much true. As many of you know me or my story; and for those who don’t I’ll sum it up. For the past 9months I have been living on Earth with out my first born son, Rhett Alec. As a first time mom, you have such high expectations. You anticipate the late nights, teething, sickness, first words, first of anything really, crawling, walking, and first birthday parties…. But when it’s all ripped away from you- all you really want is that first cry….. That first ear ringing cry into this world…. All the other first fade away after that; especially if it’s never heard.
Through it all, I find myself here writing to you today. Being honest with the world… It’s not as easy as it seems. If we all were honest we would want to live our lives as we do on Facebook. Perfect, happy people, all the time. Unfortunately that’s not how real life works. I’ve been in a slump, a rut, lost on a dead end road at times. Grief does that. It does funny things actually. And if you’ve never experienced grief in some way, shape, or form- it’s hard for you to understand theses words. Through it all, through all the pain, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat- just to hear his…. Many Mother’s I have came in contact with say the same thing as well.
It’s easy for me to sit behind my fake smile, my cell phone, hide in my house, or in my flower garden and tell you I’m all ok…. but somedays that’s not the case. You see somedays I wake up, laying there looking at the ceiling, asking God Why this had to be my life? Why me? You have the wrong person. I’m not strong, I’m weak. Why me? Often times I get no reply, but sometime I have days like today. Sometimes God shows me and reminds me that I am not alone in this grief. They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well I think it takes an army to get through this world when walking through grief. Which brings me to my next point.
This very morning: I was already over today and it was still dark out. I couldn’t find my glasses, any lids to go on my husbands gatorade aide bottles, I had tax’s to file, things to pick up, brakes to be put on, and my emotional state was at an all time low. I was feeling the Weakest of the weak. Laying there I only could utter, “Can you even hear me anymore God?”. Feeling helpless I began my day; I had no other choice, after all Things have to be done. After running my errands, I get a text- “I have something for you” from basically my second mother. Having some extra time in my day, I made the loop and swung in to pick up my gift.
As I open it, she begins to tell me the story of this simple key. She and her daughter knew I liked keys and thought it was a cool gift. Taking a second: look it had the word “Strength” stamped onto it. Smiling she goes on about how she thought that was me and it was perfect. She checks out and the lady asks her if she knew the story behind it. Saying no, the lady proceeded to tell her. The key she bought was made my homeless people who needed a job. Each key has a word on them. Then you pick a word out for that person or yourself; helping them “unlock” their potential. When they feel that their potential is unlocked they can pass it on or so forth. I don’t know if I’ll ever see myself as this “strong warrior” that others do, but on days when I’m at my lowest; I’m amazed at how God can take something as small as a simple key and show you how loved, thought of, and lifted up you can be.
As I look at the new key around my neck; I think back to that day, (6.11.17-6.12.17) . The day my world stood still. Somehow, someway, God knew I would be able to make it on this journey. I also think of how hard our little guy fought to live for 13 hours, but also of all the memories we had the 37.5 weeks prior to his coming. He got his fight from somewhere. I’m just grateful for friends, family, strangers, and so many others who lift me up in ways they never will understand how. I’m also grateful that God doesn’t take our negativity to heart. That he is a true and just God. He has never left me. He is always with me… Even on days I feel like I can’t do it anymore.
Maybe you or someone else needed this today. Share it, comment, and enjoy. I don’t write because I want followers or likes; I just do it because everyone in the world has a story and a hurt. Your not alone in your journey. Reach out to someone. Better yet! Reach out to God, even if you can’t even say much at all…
If you want a key like the one in the photo: you can go to the link below.
The giving keys (A pay it forward company)
#thegivingkeys
Just Being Marli 