Stop “Resisting” “Rest”

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Do you need “REST” are you “TIRED”?

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Matthew 11:28 says

“Come to me, all who are weary & burdened, & I will give you rest.”

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If you read this verse as a letter from God to you, it would read like this:

“Come to me. You are weary & burdened. I will help you rest.”

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The only thing hindering us from resting is us.

R-E-S-T : Rest is what we ask for, long for, dream of; but most of the time we never truly rest. We may sit for awhile, but our muscles are still tense, our hearts heavy, and minds running around.

R-E-S-I-S-T: Resist is what we mainly do, especially if it means we have to sit down. Children resist naps and bedtimes everyday, every hour, every second of the day. They hate to sit down and take a nap even if their eyes are heavy- they fight each moment of “rest.”

Just like toddlers, we are Gods children. And like children we “resist” Gods “Rest”. We fight our sleep and throw a fit. We want rest but we don’t want to set down and take a break like God tells us we so desperately need. Just as a mother would try to explain to her child that they need their nap, they do not understand and fit it anyways. We too do not understand at times that we need a “nap time” and a break just sitting with God.

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When Rest & Resist are looked at the only letter that’s different between them is the ( I ) . I, myself, & whom ever reading this:

I must put myself aside and let God give me rest . I cannot give myself rest. I cannot lift these burdens. I cannot fix my own broken heart. I cannot see tomorrow. So if we stop resisting- and take out the ( I ), God will step in and give us the rest- we asked for.

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With that being said, I want to talk to you about a small person in the Bible I read about that most of the time gets over looked. This man is found in Judges 3:31 & his name is Shamgar.

” After him was Shamgar the son of Anath, who killed six hundred men of the Philistines with an ox goad; & he also delivered Israel.” Judges 3:31

I don’t know about you, but I didn’t know about this guy. Who is he? Why is this mentioned and what does this guy have to do with “rest in God”.

As I was reading my devotional this morning (Embraced by Lysa Terkeurst), this verse was talked about. I opened my bible and sure enough- there was Shamgar. A small sliver in the Bible. Nothing huge, nothing more said.

Shamgar was a farmer. He wasn’t a mighty warrior, yet he was mentioned in the Bible & without him, At the time Israel would have fallen from what I understand. Shamgar also wasn’t a person who probably treated right in his lifetime. He was half Gentile and half Jew. His name is also Canaanite and not Hebrew, but that didn’t stop God from using him.

There isn’t anything “great” about Shamgar. He is an ordinary

Hard working guy just tending to his Cows or sheep, but what got to me isn’t what is written in the pages of the Bible-but what God showed me through this small verse.

In the world there will be “big” names that pass through. You may feel overwhelmed, overlooked, and overworked often in life. We take on burdens that we are not designed for and we run ourselves ragged. Shamgar probably did that as well. There was a war near his home, you don’t think he was scared from time to time? Stressed out? Worried? He was human, but Shamgar let God use him. He stopped “Resisting” and “Rested” in the fact that God is God and he can and will carry him- even through a war.

So picture this:

Shamgar (the farmer) just out and about doing his daily chores. Feeding cows, tending to the house work, etc and 600 Philistine soldiers surrounded your place…. I would probably panic, but Shamgar prepared for that day. Yet he fought all of them with an “ox goad” or other words “cattle prod”.

Shamgar defeated, 600 soldiers who came with swords – but he won with a cattle prod? Talk about trusting God! You see all of their weapons had been taken away so Shamgar took his cattle prod and sharpened it like God told him too.

Shamgar probably didn’t think what he was doing was very important or interesting, especially because he was a “nobody” to the world – so he thought. God sees us, even if we are tending to our farms, tending to our housework, tending to children, or anything your doing. He is preparing you daily for a battle you may have to fight with a cattle prod….

Shamgar also delivered Israel that day. He saved the day! A small battle- one man verses 600 delivered Israel.

This small verse is a reminder of what God can do. Spiritual you maybe surrounded by 600 things that are trying to defeat you and you do not think you have any weapons to defeat them, but you do… If Shamgar can use a cattle prod & Hod can use that to deliver a nation; he can defeat anything your coming up against. You have to stop “resisting” his “rest” and step aside for this to work. If Shamgar would have resisted God’s rest he may have been killed. Rest is crucial in life, but if your not getting rest from God- you too may be defeated spiritual & even physically.

You may think your a “nobody”, but God sees you. You may not leave a huge mark on this world, but even the tiniest footprint leaves a big impact. Stop resisting and start resting.

Thank you & have a wonderful day,

Marli

Angel Mom to Rhett Alec

God is good? All the time?

We’ve heard the phrase, “God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.”

What do you do when you don’t feel like God is being good ? Especially not all the time!?

If we were honest with ourselves and the world, we would say that we do not feel good about God all the time… I know as a Christian I’m not suppose to say that. In reality there is times I feel bitter, angry, hurt, and even jealous. I especially don’t feel good towards God at times. So why does this phrase bother me so much, you may wonder. Let me explain.

A few weeks back I mustered up the courage to get out into the church world again and socialize. This may not be a big step to most people, but after walking in grief; small times like this is a huge accomplishment. I still struggle with anxiety of crowds, others children at times, questions that maybe asked and throw me off guard, and even comments that I may not know how to handle. So I signed up to go to the church fundraiser brunch. The speaker quoted this quote, “God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.” As I sat there listing to everyone repeat the phrase, I realized I couldn’t say that. Instead I found myself questioning the goodness of God himself…

Pushing this back to the dark corners of my mind, I tried to deny my feelings about this phase. I tried to hide how I truly felt from God himself… Days passed and more overwhelming feeling built upon feelings I had pushed asides and tried to hide, just fueling my fire. I soon became so bitter I refused to let them go and questioned God and my faith even more. Finally one day I became so mad that I blurred out to God, “If your “sooo” good all the time and you know desires & needs of our hearts, why are you allowing me to suffer and hurt so badly? What’s good about that?” One would think that blowing off steam would make you feel better, but when your mad at God it just makes you even more mad when you don’t get an answer…

Then November hit… The beginning of a month of thankfulness and grateful quotes floating around on social media… This just fanned the flames even more. What do I possibly have to be thankful for? So like an angry teenager, I slammed my spiritual door on God and went to hide and cry. Hurt, angry, and confused I hid. I hid from my feelings. I hid from the wounds I cannot hide. I hid from my world that has crumbled and will never be the same. I hid from my family and friends. I hid, because although I wanted comfort, I didn’t want to be comforted… I just wanted to be mad for awhile.

So then it brings me to the now….

God is good, all the time. All the time? God is good? – Yes. Here’s how I know…

In my act of rage, God knew I was hurting. Instead of fighting with me, telling me how wrong I was- he let me be…. Instead of trying to put out my “flames”. He let my fire burn out. And when the time was right, he gently came in , slowly opened my spiritual door & asked , “Are you done yet?” .

You see it took a simple quote that sent me overboard for me to see clearly again. It also took a simple song to remind me that even if I’m a broken, shattered, or an angry mess- he still loves me & will put me back together again. We are just beautiful messes.

That is why God is good. Although we question him, he doesn’t leave. The Bible is also is written about people feeling things just like I am writing about if you stop and think about it. The Bible isn’t written about people who are happy all the time with no worries, or fears, or hurts. It’s written about people who have lost children, struggled in life, are angry, confused, hurting, are sick and dying. It’s written about people like me who let one simple phrase rock their world, but also how they allowed God to show them goodness in pain, light in the darkness, strength in weakness, and life in death.

So yeah, I was and can be a bitter Christian at times. I still ask God Why my son was chosen to die? I still question his mercy at times & if he is sending me to voicemail. I’m not a perfect Christian, but neither was Hannah, Sarah, Mary, Peter, or Paul. They all cried out to God in fear, pain, anger, anxiety, and other feelings I could write about all day. So why are we trying to hide them when we really are breaking inside? Why do we try to act “together” when we clearly are not? It’s time we take off our church masks and start talking about our real problems. Pain is real, but God is a “pain reliever” . Just like a Tylenol, you have to be willing to open the “bottle” and “take as needed for pain”… God is the same way… You have to be willing to open your “bible” & “take as needed for pain”. He’s not going to punish you for having feelings, but we are scared of God. We are scared to be bold in pray and talk to him about how we feel. We think we have to say cute prayers and feel good things to make God happy, but actually it’s the opposite. Sometimes all I can get out to say is – nothing. Sometimes all I can do is cry. But God would rather have tears & peaceful silence in his presence then fake emotions.

So if you too are questioning Gods goodness, your not alone… Trials in the life are hard. It’s been a year and 5 months since I lost my son, and everyday I am shocked about feelings I have. I grieve still and will always grieve because of the love I have for my son. God knows this. God, I believe, does not hate me for that- he just wants me to run to him instead of my spiritual bedroom and hid. I know deep in my heart that God has a plan for me. I just may not always agree on his timing or ways, but that’s ok. I’m learning patience, I suppose. And as long as God will lead me- I’ll be ok…

-Marli Wright-

(Angel Mom to Rhett Alec)

Ripping up my life script

I listened to a preacher today, which I will link at the bottom of this blog, about the “Movie in my Mind”. He focused on the story of Mary & Martha; which to be honest I found funny.

You see I remember as a kid, (me being the oldest and all), always feeling for Martha. I was a church junior counselor for my church’s little kid campers at KBA Church Camp. They too preach on Mary & Martha. I remember Mrs. Betty placing her hand on my shoulder and smiling at me when she said, “We too have a Mary & Martha in our group.”. She of course was insinuating that I was the Martha & my sister, who was one of the campers, was the Mary. This was one of the first thoughts I envisioned in my head when the preacher started preaching this sermon.

Most of the time preachers say not to be caught up like Martha, but learn to sit like Mary. Which at times we all need to do, but this preacher told us how in life we need Martha’s. Which for once in my life I liked. After listening and realizing how true that statement was; he went on about how Martha was trying to play the director, editor, and act – all in the same scene of her own life. This hit me.

As a photographer, a videographer, & a writer, I have to make shots happen & story lines appear. I have to envision scenes to make the story line come together smoothly. I have to make people feel comfortable in a photo and capture their personality. I have to make sure my writing is understandable & relatable….but my down fall is I try to do the same in my spiritual life as well.

Like Martha she told Jesus to make her sister help her. We all know Jesus told Martha “No. That what she was doing is fine and she too should be like Mary.” Which we all know made Martha mad. Later on she called for Jesus when her brother was sick to heal him & Jesus showed up 4 days late. Which made Martha mad again & she probably met him in town and told him about all the way home.

I too have been Martha a lot in life, I mean looking back I can see what Mrs. Betty seen. In my spiritual walk I have looked at God and said, “Why aren’t we in scene 1 act 5?” “Why aren’t you showing me reasons why?” “Why did you heal all the children in the Bible, but when I called out to you to heal mine you let him die….” “Why me?” “Why aren’t we sticking to the script?” “Don’t you love me? Don’t you care?”

You see God never wanted us to try to be director, editor, or writer of our own stories. God does love & care for us. He does see us when we cry & hurt. He even healed Martha’s brother 4 days after him being dead. And when you hear about Mary & Martha again for the last time, it said “She served Jesus.” Meaning she did it this time with the right heart. Working & Worshiping.

Sometimes we forget about where God has lead us from and where he is trying to take us. We act like little kids asking over & over “Are we there yet?”, instead of actually enjoying the moment of being in the car with God. That’s all he wants.

So as I sit here. I think back. God did heal my son, Rhett. Just not how I wrote it in the script. God did bring me out of deep deep grief waters and lead me beside the Still waters. God did heal my sorrow & at times I feel joy & I don’t know how. He has giving me a peace that I can’t even write about, because there are no words for it. God has giving me a husband that puts up with my emotional ups & downs. A family & In-Laws that love me through it all. He’s giving me the ability to write, because he knows there is someone out there like me o who need to hear this too. And although this isn’t the story I wrote for my life, it’s God’s. So it’s time I rip up my script for my life, stop trying to make God fit into my scene and just be. Sometimes I too have to be told to “Be Still & let God.”.

It’s ok to have to work & do for others, but remember God sometimes needs you to stop. He needs you to just be you. He didn’t make anyone else like you. He doesn’t have another actor in the story that is coming to steal your lines. Sometimes grief, loss, hurt, & pain is in the story. It’s what that’s written after that is what God is trying to show you, (me).

So if your a Martha like me, don’t be upset about it. God needs Martha’s just like he needs Mary’s. Just tear up your script you think you have written for your life. I can guarantee that is not what’s going to happen. They say “Life happens”- but I really think it should be “God happens.”

Thank you for reading this blog. I hope your enjoyed it. Here at the bottom is the link to the preacher I heard today. I hope you can take an hour and listen to it. You will understand the blog even better, but God may even tell you something you need to hear.

https://elevationchurch.org/sermons/the-movie-in-my-mind/

Have a blessed day.

-Marli Wright

Angel Mom to Rhett Alec ❤️

I’m ok …

We hear it everyday. We ask people how they are and most of them time we hear, “fine.” or “Ok.”. Do we really hear what they are saying though? Do we take the time to watch their faces as they exhale and try to find the breath to utter the words “ok.”? I can remember times in my life I have and had felt this way. It feels just like yesterday in ways; and in others I feel like it every second.

After the loss of our son, I could not fathom how I could function in life ever again. A piece of me was buried June 15th, but a piece of me passed on 3 days earlier. I would wake up, lie in bed for hours; tears streaming down my face not knowing what to do but ask God why. When I would muster the strength up to get up, I would walk to the table and sit down in front of my bible trying to come up with 3 things to be thankful for… Do you know how hard that is? It seems simple, but when your world is crushed, your baby taken away from you, and your heart ripped out- all you see is darkness. I would write daily at least one sentence or word. Most of the time is was, “Why Me God?”.

When I did “get out” people would ask me- “How are you?”. I know they only did it out of love, but I didn’t know how to reply. It took all I had in me to scramble a smile and reply with , “Ok”. I wanted to tell them, “I’m broken. I’m broken in a million pieces. I’m shattered. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I want to cry right now but I’m in a Walmart check out. I’m trying to pull myself together. I’m broken can’t you see?” – But all of that came out as “Ok.”

One day as I was reading, God asked me “How are you?” I replied “Ok.”

So God asked again.

“I asked How are you.”

– “I’m ok.”

God asked me again. This time he added, “I’m a big God. I am strong enough to hear what you have to say. So how are you?”

It hit me finally like a ton of bricks. With God I don’t have to hide behind an “ok.” With God I can tell him “I feel broken.”

It’s been a year and three months since I laid eyes on Rhett. It’s been a year and three months since I held his hand, held him in my arms, & sang to him with him physically here. Sometimes I stop and think “How have I made it through all the OKs?”.

Then I’m reminded of a verse in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 that says,

 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

When I am weak, then I am strong…. It hits me every time.

See God has taken my lowest point in my life and he has shown me that through pain, I can walk again because of his strength. I am broken still. There are days I still cannot get up out of bed. There are days I dread the tomorrows- But I know who holds them in his hands. There’s a song that reminds me of just that.

I know who holds Tomorrow:

“I don’t know about tomorrow,

I just live from day to day.

And I don’t borrow from the sunshine

‘Cause the skies might turn to gray.

And I don’t worry about the future,

‘Cause I know what Jesus said,

And today I’m gonna walk right beside him

‘Cause he’s the one who knows what is ahead.

There are things about tomorrow

That I don’t seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know who holds my hand.

And each step is getting brighter

As the golden stairs I climb.

And every burden is getting lighter

And all the clouds, they’re silver lined.

And, I’ll bet the sun it’s always shining

There no tears will ever dim the eye

And the ending of the rainbow

Where the mountains, they touch the sky.

There are many things about tomorrow

I don’t seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know who holds my hand.”

Maybe you too are fighting for air when someone asks you how you are. Maybe your battle is too much. Your broken, you feel weak, and you want to give up. I pray that you look to the one who holds all the Tomorrows. Look to the one who knew this moment would come. Remember he can bring peace I can’t even bring to describe. God is the only way I have made it this far. He lets me know I’m not alone and though I feel broken, he can still make me strong. Turn to Jesus. Loosing a child is not what I had in mind when I pictured my life, but then again I was trying to plan my future. It’s not the path I wanted… but I would go back a year & three months and do it all again to live 13 hours with Rhett again. God knew that. God knew I would be here. Don’t be afraid to tell God how you really feel, just remember all you have to do is “Be Still and Let God.”

-Marli Wright

Angel Mom to Rhett Alec ❤️

Protected by God

Often times I’m told that I inspire others. And on a day like today, (my birthday): I am flooded with texts, messages, gifts, calls, and compliments. As I enjoy each humbling one, I have a feeling to share that it’s not me who is inspiring you or others. It’s God. God guises me to write. He guides me to sing. He guides me to be who I am. Although I am not perfect, I strive to be Christ like and that’s all he asks of us.

As I turn 26, I think about what I have had to walk through in my short live span. I can think back to the “easy times” in my Christian walk. I can remember sitting in Sunday school soaking up knowledge from those who have walked the walk ahead of me telling me there would be trials. That there would be times that life would get “Hard”. I never imagined these trials would come. I can remember a time where I thought that I would never be shaken….

I was wrong.

Fast forward to graduating college, getting married, and having a our sweet son, Rhett. I thought I had it all laid out in front of me. I prayed for it all. I prayed for our marriage and for us to graduate. I prayed for our son to be ours and his life I thought we had ahead of us… God knew however my plans would be different.

He knew on August of 1992, that I would be named Marli. He knew I would grow up and marry Shawn. He knew that I would suffer the loss of our Son Rhett and I would be shaken. He knew that when I was 18 I would go to a college that would challenge me spiritual so I would have to learn his voice. He knew I would face battles that I cannot understand. He knew that six months after losing my son I would loose a best friend, Erin. He knew I wouldn’t understand and that I would be angry with him. He also knew that I would be here writing a blog that you are reading now, and would call me “inspirational.”. He knew everything about me. Yet he knew that I would have emotional break downs on him at times, and stop speaking to him- Yet he still loves me enough to run to me when I cry out to him.

Although I have faced many trials, been shaken to the core, and had times I where I was angry- he knew that I was his. You see, God never leaves. He never forgot me. He never told me my that my tears and feelings were bad. He never told me to shake it off and get over it. God simply let me cry on his big shoulders and he held me.

I’m telling you this today, because I feel like someone out there is hurting. Someone thinks God has forgotten them and left them to grieve alone. It’s not true. God hears you and sees you. I know this feeling because the devil has told me “God isn’t listening because he’s busy.”. “God doesn’t want to hear your thoughts.” “God is tired of your tears.” And at times I have let the devil talk me into these ideas. But God never leaves. In fact he loves you so much he wants you to cry out to him. He wants you to be his child and repent. He wants to save you from your hurt, your pain, your sin, your situation. God want to have his Angels come down and surround you and fight your battles. There is a spiritual battle going on around us, yet God will protect us.

I know what the next question that is in your mind. “If God protects you, why did your son have to die?”. This question is one I have asked God about many times. And if you ask he will tell you. John 10:10 says “The enemy comes to kill, steal, & destroy. But I have come to give you life, and give it more abundantly.” Good Christians get hurt too. Good people have bad things happen and sometimes it has nothing to do with, “what you have done.”. I don’t know what your going through right now, but I pray tonight you let it go. I pray you call out to God and asking him to put his angel army around you. The devil may have came into your house and destroyed it, but I know a contractor who can rebuild your home ten times better, stronger, & nicer than you can ever imagine. Sometimes it hurts. Tell him about it. Some days the tears won’t stop flowing, cry out to him. Sometimes your angry, let him know why. God isn’t fragile. God can handle us at our worst. He wants you change your life!

I can say that I am thankful that God has been there with me through everything. I may have ran and hid from him a time or two, but he still knew where I was and sat patiently for me to come to him. I am thankful that I am saved, and one day soon I too will get to sing along side the angels who have fought for me. I will be reunited with my son, and I will never have to say goodbye. Tonight can you say that you would meet me there too? I pray the answer is yes…But if you don’t know, I have some info here that you can say “yes”.

God will protect you. I’m glad I am Gods.

– Marli Wright

Angel Mom to Rhett

– Admit that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.- Romans 3:23

Basically it’s meaning that we all have failed some how in life. He have sinned : told a lie, stole a piece of candy, some something we knew we shouldn’t have. Admit we are not perfect

-Ask God to forgive us of our impurities. Make us clean. John 1:9 “If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins.”-

– Ask & Believe, God to save you from your sins. That you believe that he is Jesus. That he died on the Cross for your sins. That he does but defeated death on the third day and he is in heaven now.- Romans 10:9 “If you declare with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

– Trust and Tell: Trust that Jesus can lead your life. That he knows all and can show you the way. Trust that he won’t leave you and that he loves you very much. Trust that he sent his son for you, even if you were the only one on earth. John 3:16.

Tell: tell someone that you ask God into your heart and made a change. Tell a friend, me, a pastor etc. Don’t hide this news. God says is we deny him to the world he will deny us. So tell someone! Shout it to the world.

“But now that you have been set free from sin, the benefit you will reap is holiness, and the results eternal life.” Romans 6:22

If you don’t know how to pray, let me explain. You don’t have to say a fancy prayer. Just talk to God as you talk on the phone. If you need help, ask someone. Just tell God what you feel. That you want to be saved. Once you get going it gets easier every time.

Christians: I challenge you to pray for someone, anyone, but especially someone who may read this. Pray that they will call upon God. Our jobs are not done once we get saved. We need to pray for others. If you know someone who’s hurting lift them up. Share this post to them, or simply let them know that God and his army is fighting for them. That God does love them and they are not alone.

We need to pray. Don’t stop when it gets easy, pray A.S.A.P. – (Always Say A Prayer).

-Marli

In Awe if God

“Who puts the salt in when it gets to the sea?”

Such a simple lyric from a song I sang as a kid, (song title: It’s a miracle), that still has so much meaning to this day.

As we sat in sand Sunday in New Jersey, Cape May; I couldn’t help but to think of this song. The tide was rolling in and out so smoothly. It stopped on certain parts the sand as instructed. Then I started singing the song over again:

“Who tells the ocean where to stop on the sand? It’s a miracle! It’s a miracle.”

The longer I sat there the more in awe I became. God made this for me to enjoy in that day and time. Every single wave, shell, bird, and creature there. Then I looked at the sand and held it in my hand. Each tiny individual piece slipped through my fingers. Too many to count. Then I began to think of Abraham when God told him:

“I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Genesis 22:17”

Abraham didn’t know the land he was traveling too, just as I didn’t know Pennsylvania or New Jersey- but he went. He went and did what God told him to do. He had troubles and trails and hurts in his life, but he still listened and loved God.

As I sat there on the shore I thought of my life. I was like this sand. I couldn’t grasp it all. I couldn’t count every piece. I didn’t know how deep or shallow the beach was or how many zillions of pieces were laying there beside me, but God does.

I then remembered talking to my husband a year ago after Rhett had passed about pearls. I had always loved pearls for some reason. Each one always had a different size, shape, and color. Kind of like people today. Shawn reminded me that in order for a pearl to form, a piece of sand has to help form a pearl, but the oyster has to die before it’s beautiful pearl can be seen to the world.

I remember crying that day about that. Rhett’s birthday is in June and a pearl is a jewel at times that symbolizes it. Rhett is my pearl.

As I sat in the beach I thought of this. I thought of how a tiny piece of sand formed such a beautiful pearl. I also thought of that oyster. That oyster is me. God placed a piece of sand in my life that would turn into a pearl later. Most people never have to be broken in life. And if I was honest at times I’m jealous of that, but I have a pearl and they don’t. I had to have a piece of myself die the day I lost Rhett. Like the oyster my heart was cracked open and broken in to in order to find the pearl.

Now a year later, I sit online the shore admiring my pearl. I can never be fully put back together. Although I may can close the wound at times, it will always open back up when I least expect it to.

Then I looked over to my right and saw a beautiful tall & sturdy, lighthouse. I just climbed all 204 steps of it and stood on its pier allowing the wind to whip my hair back and forth, feeling every part of creation. I could feel the salt from the ocean in the breeze and the coolness surrounding me. It was as if I were standing in God’s shoulders.

He describes himself as a lighthouse in the darknesses. The lighthouse shines the brightest at night, telling all who is coming to shore to be cautious. Then I think back a year ago when the storms of life were ripping off my sails. I couldn’t see the shore. I could not see if I was about to wreck or be tossed about again. I could not see if God was there….

But then I seen the lighthouse. Each beam showed me God Still cared. Each beam showed me that he would direct me to the shore. He brought me out of the darkest place imaginable, and allowed me to stand upon his shoulders so I could see…

I had to walk along ways up,(more than 204 steps), but each step brought me closer to his peace. Yes, I had to stop along the way and ask if I could make it!

He never failed. He was sturdy and strong. I did not have to worry if I would be shaken again, because he would not be moved.

Along the drive to New Jersey, (Sunday 2018), I began to think of another song when I awoke that morning. “My lighthouse” by: Rend Collective. We sang the verse over and over that day, and even sang it in front of the lighthouse itself. It goes like this.

“My lighthouse, my lighthouse

Shining in the darkness. I will follow You

My lighthouse, my lighthouse

I will trust the promise

You will carry me safe to shore.”

So no matter what storm of life your in. This trail will make you or break you. Each trail you face isn’t always a punishment. Sometimes you just have some sand get in the way or too strong of winds for your sails. What ever it is remember to look for the lighthouse. He will carry you to shore. And in the end, you to may have a beautiful pearl that changes you forever. Just remember; God has a purpose and a testimony in it. You may not see it today but tomorrow. If he can put the salt in the ocean and tell the waves where to stop on the sand… He too can perform a miracle in you.

~Marli ( Angel Mom to Rhett Alec Wright)

Parent like God

Looking back at my life from time to time, there are moments I can tell you I have seen God. There are times I can tell you I have questioned God and have also felt like I have been alone without God. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care . However it’s just the opposite.

As parents you try to let your child gain independence slowly. You want them to be able to care for themselves one day, but you also don’t want to teach them “how to” all in one day. God does that too.

So when you let your child dress themselves in clothes that don’t match, or you let them choose their hairstyle, you are teaching them how it is to make choices. God does this as well. He lets us get up and choose everyday to worship him or not. Or better yet, how we will. Will it be a song or a verse today? Prayers of praise or will we ignore him? Whatever we choose, he allows us to do.

Then you have times as parents were you have to allow them to be tempted to see if they remember what you taught them. Maybe it’s a simple, “Don’t Chase the ball if it goes out of the fence” rule- or maybe it’s much harder than that. Even as children we know what we should and shouldn’t do. So again, God does this with us. But he allows us to be tempted. He allows us to choose what we think is right and wrong…

We won’t always make the right choices and he knows that. He loves us enough to hold us and tell us that we can choose better next time.

I know that right now I may not be an “Earthly” parent right now, (because my son is in heaven), but one day I hope to parent like God. Full of love. Full of forgiving grace. Teaching right from wrong. But until then I will try to let God parent me… because I want him to use me in great ways, not just for the small stuff.

– Marli Wright

How did I survive?

June 11th changed my life. A moment in time that at times for me stands still. It’s funny that the world still turns around even when we cannot. I remember thinking back a year ago from today, “Things will never be normal. I will never move forward. I cannot survive this…” . And in the moment in time I couldn’t. In that moment in time, my heart was shattered in a million pieces and stopped beating all together. As cliché as that sounds, it’s the truth. Time was non existent, breathing wasn’t possible, and speaking- words would not form… In that moment in time, everything I prayed for, dreamed of, longed for, disappeared.

They say when you have a child, it’s like having your heart on the outside of you body. That is true in every way imaginable. How do you survive when your heart gets broken? How do you get up and sort through the rumble you once called life? How do you survive?

When you walk this journey Many will stop and say, “Your so strong! I don’t know how you do it.”. Truth is you don’t have a choice. It’s either keep crawling or stop breathing. Either one is painful. When you walk this mangled road of grief, you meet a few people along the way. Some people meet your where you are. They see you coming through the gate and they wrap their arms around you. Others you slowly stumble upon down the road, but however you meet people – it’s a blessing. No other person on earth can imagine the pain like they can. And to those women I’ve met; I thank you. Your prayers & support have kept me going when I thought I couldn’t make it.

Since Rhett’s birth and passing I have been digging into God’s word for answers. If you seek him, he will seek you; however his words may not be what you want to hear from time to time. I have and do still go through many stages. For example; complete disarray, unable to focus, or unable to comprehend. Some days I get angry, frustrated with people or even God, and feel guilty. Some days you feel ok, normal even, and then you feel horrible for feeling better with yourself. I remember a friend of mine telling me, “It’s ok to smile. Rhett would want you too.”. A simple task…yet it seems so difficult to do. You have to unfortunately go through these steps to get to Gods healing.

Why does it take so long for God to heal us?

Well… I feel like it’s because we push him away. He always wants to heal us ASAP, but we want to be mad at him. Slam the door in his face, kinda mad. We want dwell upon it, drag it out per-say, point fingers and tell everyone it’s not fair. And it’s not! It never will be; but there comes a time when we have to stop pointing fingers at God and start looking in the mirror.

He plainly tells us that the devil comes to “Kill, Steal, & Destroy.” -( I’ve written about that in a past blog.)- He told us that we will always have problems. You maybe a christian and think- “Well I’m supposed to be exempt from every bad thing of this world.”. I wish that was true…. And if I was honest I thought that way too. At one point I told God how I thought this should have went. How Rhett’s story should have went. I wanted to “re-write” it my way. That’s not how the story was supposed to go. I remember praying to God telling him things like: “But I’ve went on mission trips, told others about you. I’ve fed hungry children. I’ve witnessed to others. I’ve been to church my whole life. I sing in church. I volunteer when needed. I teach Sunday school. I’ve taught VBS. I help in the nursery . What bad have I done!”…. Seems logical right? Well rich or poor- your house can still burn. Why? Because fire doesn’t discriminate and neither does the devil.

So how do you find peace in the storm?

It’s not easy; but you have to start a system. You have to get into a habit of waking up, reading your Bible, actually being real with God about your feelings, and trying to stand on his promises. It’s not easy, because the waves will hit and you will fall. I have fallen so many times that if I had spiritual scars you could see I’d be covered in them. And then you have to realize that sometimes you have to be Still and let God carry you and do the work. I’m a hands on person, so for me it was hard to let go and let God…but when you have nowhere to look but up; you don’t argue.

While on my search for answers; I went to the normal people you think of… Job. He was tormented for God, and if you read the book of Job it’s depressing. Job was real with God. He told him how he felt; he even asked the hard questions. So I decided to as well. When you ask God the hard things, you get real answers.

So I began to dig deeper. I found King David, Sarah, Elizabeth, Hannah, and some other people who wasn’t named but their story was told… They all lost children or was barren. They all had the same questions I did… “Why me?” …. Their stories was for me at this point in time… My story, will be for someone else in time…. My suffering will one day be looked at as a victory, I hope, from God. David laid his child to rest and then threw a party. Seems crazy…but his response was true. “If I go too him he still will not come back. Yet I will rejoice that he is in heaven.” (I’m paraphrasing 2 Samuel 12:22-23.)

Sarah had a child at the age of 90,(Genesis 17). Elizabeth had a child in her old age,(Luke 1). Hannah had to give her son back to God after she prayed so hard for him, ( 1Samuel 1.). And last but not least the woman who was so deep in grief she stole a child to claim as her own, ( 1 Kings 16:22-38.).

Their stories, their storms, was to help me thousands of years down the road. They never would have imagined that; yet neither do I.

When we first told the world about Rhett, I used a verse (Isaiah 49:16) “For I have your name written on the palm of my hand.” . Little did I know how true that would be. You see; he seen what was to come- when we couldn’t. He knew Rhett’s purpose in this world, on this day of June 11th. I still don’t know what it is, but in Psalms 119, it tells us that even if we could understand we wouldn’t. His ways of thinking are so much greater than ours that on Earth we cannot wrap our minds around it. There will come a day when we get to heaven that we will see what he sees, but today we have to walk by faith.

Trusting in the Lord is hard. It was hard even for the disciples and they had Jesus in front of them. I read this morning (Luke 6:46 or so) about two houses that was built. One was upon a rock- Sturdy and firm. The other built upon the sand-looked fine, yet shaky. The storms of life came and house on the rock stood firm. Yet the house on the sand fell. Looking back I didn’t realize that building a house on the rock was important. Sure some walls fell, the roof caved in, but the structure stood. I’m glad to know , looking back- that God was within the storm. If my house was on the sand, I can’t even imagine what else could have happened. Where I would be today. How I would have survived… But I’m here today because God has carried me through the valley of the shadow of death. He has held my hand in the rain. He had told me it’s ok to sit and be still when I’m hurting to bad. It is ok to smile and rejoice because there is a season for everything. You see God is real. And although you look at me and may say, “but your child is still gone.” – I agree. He is gone from this world. A world of sin, pain, and tears. However like every parent here wants a perfect child, wants them to know Christ, I can say mine does. He is perfect, free from sin, free from pain. Yes, I hurt still- But isn’t it our jobs as parents to protect our children from the pain of this world? So here I am…Standing… God has my son, and I have done my job as a mom. I carry the pain so he never has to. I cry his tears so he never had to hurt. I gave him life, yet he showed me how to live mine. So as the quote says, “and yet here you are living despite it all.”. Here I am, living, because God cares.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with grief, you can reach out to me through my blog page, personal, or Remembering Rhett’s Love Facebook page. Prayer changes people and situations. Believe in him for he is greater than our worst fears. Please pass this along.

God bless you,

Marli Wright (Angel Mother of Rhett Alec)

Consider the Birds

In a world filled with stress, sometimes it’s hard to stop and admire God’s workmanship. As Sadie, (my dachshund), & I enjoyed our Saturday outside; many of my little birds Paid is a visit. Eating from the feeders hung nicely on the fence; the perched them not phased my our presence. Some chipped, some coo’ed, and some whistled. They did not seemed stressed out or afraid. As I sat on the porch, I was reminded of a verse in Matthew 6:25-26.

God cares for the birds of the air and every living thing. He cares for the grass, the deer, and other creatures unknown. They do not worry if they have a home, food, or water. They know the maker of heaven will provide.

In the parable Jesus spoke, it finally dawned on me. In order to fly freely, one must give their cares to the one who can carry the load. God knows our troubles, trails, wants, and needs. He knows what worries us, keeps us up at night, our fears, and our hurts. And just like the birds; He promises to care for us.

Are we greater than the birds? Yes. God loves all of his creations ; but he loves us more. That is why he died for us. You see we must give our all to God. Our hurts, our tears, our futures, our dreams, and our everything. We can not do anything without God. If that was true the Philippians 4:13 would not be needed, but Instead its States:

“I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me.”

It doesn’t say, “through my boss”, “Through my pastor”, and so on- but through Christ.

So as I sit and enjoy this wonderful weather, listening to my doves coo, and others flock to the feeders. I too sit as the birds do. Waiting to be told where I may fly to next. Where’s my next journey and what may it involve; but wherever it is- I will not be worried. God will make a way. He is the ” Way Maker. ” I don’t know if my wings will work, I don’t know how to soar, but with God as my guide- I will be unstoppable.

Cast your cares upon him, be free of your stress, and listen to the birds today. If he can care for them- he can take care of you.

Unlocking Your Potential

Have you ever heard the term, “Unlocking your full potential.” ? I have often seen it written on posters in school hallways, signs by college enrollment offices, and of course through the occasional Facebook scroll. I never thought that quote or saying fit me very well. Not until I was handed a key that started unlocking doors to my potential.

It sounds cliché when you talk about how God places people in your path durning certain seasons of your life. However; it’s very much true. As many of you know me or my story; and for those who don’t I’ll sum it up. For the past 9months I have been living on Earth with out my first born son, Rhett Alec. As a first time mom, you have such high expectations. You anticipate the late nights, teething, sickness, first words, first of anything really, crawling, walking, and first birthday parties…. But when it’s all ripped away from you- all you really want is that first cry….. That first ear ringing cry into this world…. All the other first fade away after that; especially if it’s never heard.

Through it all, I find myself here writing to you today. Being honest with the world… It’s not as easy as it seems. If we all were honest we would want to live our lives as we do on Facebook. Perfect, happy people, all the time. Unfortunately that’s not how real life works. I’ve been in a slump, a rut, lost on a dead end road at times. Grief does that. It does funny things actually. And if you’ve never experienced grief in some way, shape, or form- it’s hard for you to understand theses words. Through it all, through all the pain, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat- just to hear his…. Many Mother’s I have came in contact with say the same thing as well.

It’s easy for me to sit behind my fake smile, my cell phone, hide in my house, or in my flower garden and tell you I’m all ok…. but somedays that’s not the case. You see somedays I wake up, laying there looking at the ceiling, asking God Why this had to be my life? Why me? You have the wrong person. I’m not strong, I’m weak. Why me? Often times I get no reply, but sometime I have days like today. Sometimes God shows me and reminds me that I am not alone in this grief. They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well I think it takes an army to get through this world when walking through grief. Which brings me to my next point.

This very morning: I was already over today and it was still dark out. I couldn’t find my glasses, any lids to go on my husbands gatorade aide bottles, I had tax’s to file, things to pick up, brakes to be put on, and my emotional state was at an all time low. I was feeling the Weakest of the weak. Laying there I only could utter, “Can you even hear me anymore God?”. Feeling helpless I began my day; I had no other choice, after all Things have to be done. After running my errands, I get a text- “I have something for you” from basically my second mother. Having some extra time in my day, I made the loop and swung in to pick up my gift.

As I open it, she begins to tell me the story of this simple key. She and her daughter knew I liked keys and thought it was a cool gift. Taking a second: look it had the word “Strength” stamped onto it. Smiling she goes on about how she thought that was me and it was perfect. She checks out and the lady asks her if she knew the story behind it. Saying no, the lady proceeded to tell her. The key she bought was made my homeless people who needed a job. Each key has a word on them. Then you pick a word out for that person or yourself; helping them “unlock” their potential. When they feel that their potential is unlocked they can pass it on or so forth. I don’t know if I’ll ever see myself as this “strong warrior” that others do, but on days when I’m at my lowest; I’m amazed at how God can take something as small as a simple key and show you how loved, thought of, and lifted up you can be.

As I look at the new key around my neck; I think back to that day, (6.11.17-6.12.17) . The day my world stood still. Somehow, someway, God knew I would be able to make it on this journey. I also think of how hard our little guy fought to live for 13 hours, but also of all the memories we had the 37.5 weeks prior to his coming. He got his fight from somewhere. I’m just grateful for friends, family, strangers, and so many others who lift me up in ways they never will understand how. I’m also grateful that God doesn’t take our negativity to heart. That he is a true and just God. He has never left me. He is always with me… Even on days I feel like I can’t do it anymore.

Maybe you or someone else needed this today. Share it, comment, and enjoy. I don’t write because I want followers or likes; I just do it because everyone in the world has a story and a hurt. Your not alone in your journey. Reach out to someone. Better yet! Reach out to God, even if you can’t even say much at all…

If you want a key like the one in the photo: you can go to the link below.

The giving keys (A pay it forward company)

Classic Key Necklace

#thegivingkeys