In Awe if God

“Who puts the salt in when it gets to the sea?”

Such a simple lyric from a song I sang as a kid, (song title: It’s a miracle), that still has so much meaning to this day.

As we sat in sand Sunday in New Jersey, Cape May; I couldn’t help but to think of this song. The tide was rolling in and out so smoothly. It stopped on certain parts the sand as instructed. Then I started singing the song over again:

“Who tells the ocean where to stop on the sand? It’s a miracle! It’s a miracle.”

The longer I sat there the more in awe I became. God made this for me to enjoy in that day and time. Every single wave, shell, bird, and creature there. Then I looked at the sand and held it in my hand. Each tiny individual piece slipped through my fingers. Too many to count. Then I began to think of Abraham when God told him:

“I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Genesis 22:17”

Abraham didn’t know the land he was traveling too, just as I didn’t know Pennsylvania or New Jersey- but he went. He went and did what God told him to do. He had troubles and trails and hurts in his life, but he still listened and loved God.

As I sat there on the shore I thought of my life. I was like this sand. I couldn’t grasp it all. I couldn’t count every piece. I didn’t know how deep or shallow the beach was or how many zillions of pieces were laying there beside me, but God does.

I then remembered talking to my husband a year ago after Rhett had passed about pearls. I had always loved pearls for some reason. Each one always had a different size, shape, and color. Kind of like people today. Shawn reminded me that in order for a pearl to form, a piece of sand has to help form a pearl, but the oyster has to die before it’s beautiful pearl can be seen to the world.

I remember crying that day about that. Rhett’s birthday is in June and a pearl is a jewel at times that symbolizes it. Rhett is my pearl.

As I sat in the beach I thought of this. I thought of how a tiny piece of sand formed such a beautiful pearl. I also thought of that oyster. That oyster is me. God placed a piece of sand in my life that would turn into a pearl later. Most people never have to be broken in life. And if I was honest at times I’m jealous of that, but I have a pearl and they don’t. I had to have a piece of myself die the day I lost Rhett. Like the oyster my heart was cracked open and broken in to in order to find the pearl.

Now a year later, I sit online the shore admiring my pearl. I can never be fully put back together. Although I may can close the wound at times, it will always open back up when I least expect it to.

Then I looked over to my right and saw a beautiful tall & sturdy, lighthouse. I just climbed all 204 steps of it and stood on its pier allowing the wind to whip my hair back and forth, feeling every part of creation. I could feel the salt from the ocean in the breeze and the coolness surrounding me. It was as if I were standing in God’s shoulders.

He describes himself as a lighthouse in the darknesses. The lighthouse shines the brightest at night, telling all who is coming to shore to be cautious. Then I think back a year ago when the storms of life were ripping off my sails. I couldn’t see the shore. I could not see if I was about to wreck or be tossed about again. I could not see if God was there….

But then I seen the lighthouse. Each beam showed me God Still cared. Each beam showed me that he would direct me to the shore. He brought me out of the darkest place imaginable, and allowed me to stand upon his shoulders so I could see…

I had to walk along ways up,(more than 204 steps), but each step brought me closer to his peace. Yes, I had to stop along the way and ask if I could make it!

He never failed. He was sturdy and strong. I did not have to worry if I would be shaken again, because he would not be moved.

Along the drive to New Jersey, (Sunday 2018), I began to think of another song when I awoke that morning. “My lighthouse” by: Rend Collective. We sang the verse over and over that day, and even sang it in front of the lighthouse itself. It goes like this.

“My lighthouse, my lighthouse

Shining in the darkness. I will follow You

My lighthouse, my lighthouse

I will trust the promise

You will carry me safe to shore.”

So no matter what storm of life your in. This trail will make you or break you. Each trail you face isn’t always a punishment. Sometimes you just have some sand get in the way or too strong of winds for your sails. What ever it is remember to look for the lighthouse. He will carry you to shore. And in the end, you to may have a beautiful pearl that changes you forever. Just remember; God has a purpose and a testimony in it. You may not see it today but tomorrow. If he can put the salt in the ocean and tell the waves where to stop on the sand… He too can perform a miracle in you.

~Marli ( Angel Mom to Rhett Alec Wright)

Parent like God

Looking back at my life from time to time, there are moments I can tell you I have seen God. There are times I can tell you I have questioned God and have also felt like I have been alone without God. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care . However it’s just the opposite.

As parents you try to let your child gain independence slowly. You want them to be able to care for themselves one day, but you also don’t want to teach them “how to” all in one day. God does that too.

So when you let your child dress themselves in clothes that don’t match, or you let them choose their hairstyle, you are teaching them how it is to make choices. God does this as well. He lets us get up and choose everyday to worship him or not. Or better yet, how we will. Will it be a song or a verse today? Prayers of praise or will we ignore him? Whatever we choose, he allows us to do.

Then you have times as parents were you have to allow them to be tempted to see if they remember what you taught them. Maybe it’s a simple, “Don’t Chase the ball if it goes out of the fence” rule- or maybe it’s much harder than that. Even as children we know what we should and shouldn’t do. So again, God does this with us. But he allows us to be tempted. He allows us to choose what we think is right and wrong…

We won’t always make the right choices and he knows that. He loves us enough to hold us and tell us that we can choose better next time.

I know that right now I may not be an “Earthly” parent right now, (because my son is in heaven), but one day I hope to parent like God. Full of love. Full of forgiving grace. Teaching right from wrong. But until then I will try to let God parent me… because I want him to use me in great ways, not just for the small stuff.

– Marli Wright