In Awe if God

“Who puts the salt in when it gets to the sea?”

Such a simple lyric from a song I sang as a kid, (song title: It’s a miracle), that still has so much meaning to this day.

As we sat in sand Sunday in New Jersey, Cape May; I couldn’t help but to think of this song. The tide was rolling in and out so smoothly. It stopped on certain parts the sand as instructed. Then I started singing the song over again:

“Who tells the ocean where to stop on the sand? It’s a miracle! It’s a miracle.”

The longer I sat there the more in awe I became. God made this for me to enjoy in that day and time. Every single wave, shell, bird, and creature there. Then I looked at the sand and held it in my hand. Each tiny individual piece slipped through my fingers. Too many to count. Then I began to think of Abraham when God told him:

“I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Genesis 22:17”

Abraham didn’t know the land he was traveling too, just as I didn’t know Pennsylvania or New Jersey- but he went. He went and did what God told him to do. He had troubles and trails and hurts in his life, but he still listened and loved God.

As I sat there on the shore I thought of my life. I was like this sand. I couldn’t grasp it all. I couldn’t count every piece. I didn’t know how deep or shallow the beach was or how many zillions of pieces were laying there beside me, but God does.

I then remembered talking to my husband a year ago after Rhett had passed about pearls. I had always loved pearls for some reason. Each one always had a different size, shape, and color. Kind of like people today. Shawn reminded me that in order for a pearl to form, a piece of sand has to help form a pearl, but the oyster has to die before it’s beautiful pearl can be seen to the world.

I remember crying that day about that. Rhett’s birthday is in June and a pearl is a jewel at times that symbolizes it. Rhett is my pearl.

As I sat in the beach I thought of this. I thought of how a tiny piece of sand formed such a beautiful pearl. I also thought of that oyster. That oyster is me. God placed a piece of sand in my life that would turn into a pearl later. Most people never have to be broken in life. And if I was honest at times I’m jealous of that, but I have a pearl and they don’t. I had to have a piece of myself die the day I lost Rhett. Like the oyster my heart was cracked open and broken in to in order to find the pearl.

Now a year later, I sit online the shore admiring my pearl. I can never be fully put back together. Although I may can close the wound at times, it will always open back up when I least expect it to.

Then I looked over to my right and saw a beautiful tall & sturdy, lighthouse. I just climbed all 204 steps of it and stood on its pier allowing the wind to whip my hair back and forth, feeling every part of creation. I could feel the salt from the ocean in the breeze and the coolness surrounding me. It was as if I were standing in God’s shoulders.

He describes himself as a lighthouse in the darknesses. The lighthouse shines the brightest at night, telling all who is coming to shore to be cautious. Then I think back a year ago when the storms of life were ripping off my sails. I couldn’t see the shore. I could not see if I was about to wreck or be tossed about again. I could not see if God was there….

But then I seen the lighthouse. Each beam showed me God Still cared. Each beam showed me that he would direct me to the shore. He brought me out of the darkest place imaginable, and allowed me to stand upon his shoulders so I could see…

I had to walk along ways up,(more than 204 steps), but each step brought me closer to his peace. Yes, I had to stop along the way and ask if I could make it!

He never failed. He was sturdy and strong. I did not have to worry if I would be shaken again, because he would not be moved.

Along the drive to New Jersey, (Sunday 2018), I began to think of another song when I awoke that morning. “My lighthouse” by: Rend Collective. We sang the verse over and over that day, and even sang it in front of the lighthouse itself. It goes like this.

“My lighthouse, my lighthouse

Shining in the darkness. I will follow You

My lighthouse, my lighthouse

I will trust the promise

You will carry me safe to shore.”

So no matter what storm of life your in. This trail will make you or break you. Each trail you face isn’t always a punishment. Sometimes you just have some sand get in the way or too strong of winds for your sails. What ever it is remember to look for the lighthouse. He will carry you to shore. And in the end, you to may have a beautiful pearl that changes you forever. Just remember; God has a purpose and a testimony in it. You may not see it today but tomorrow. If he can put the salt in the ocean and tell the waves where to stop on the sand… He too can perform a miracle in you.

~Marli ( Angel Mom to Rhett Alec Wright)